Drunk Monkey Gets in Trouble
If you thought 2020 was a strange year, buckle up, because a monkey has been sentenced to life behind bars. No, really, this isn't fake news.
Gulf News reports that a pet monkey named Kalua went on a rampage in the Indian city Mirzapur after his owner died -- and before you think the monkey was sad, just know the rampage wasn't fueled by grief. It was because Kalua was having alcohol withdrawals.
As it turns out, his old owner -- an occultist, if you must know -- allowed him to get boozed up whenever he wanted. So much so, in fact, Kalua -- who now has a super appropriate name if you think about it -- became addicted to alcohol.
So, when the monkey's owner dropped dead, Kalua went into withdrawal, became aggressive and started attacking people. After biting over 250 people, which resulted in one death, monkey trappers were called in to deal with rampaging alcoholic.
Eventually, the primate was caught and shipped off to the Kanpur zoo, where the staff there had high hopes that Kalua would be released into the wild after successfully completing a stint in rehab.
Well, fast forward three years and the zoo has a not-so-great update on Kalua.
"We kept him in isolation for some months and then shifted him to a separate cage," Says zoo doctor Mohd Nasir. "There has been no change in his behavior and he remains as aggressive as he was. It has been three years since he was brought here, but now it has been decided that he will remain in captivity all his life."
Nasir fully believes that if they did release Kalua, he'd go back on a tear and injure even more people.